Why People Don’t Change
By Ana Blackwell
Do you personally know an individual who refuses to change? All the love, care, and support that individual received didn’t alter them. Hopelessness and anger walk beside us when we shed endless tears in prayer, yet there is no change in that person, or at least the kind that lasts. So, how do we come to God when we know someone we love who continuously makes life decisions that hurts them and others around?
First, we need to realize that as much as we love someone, all the support, love, time, and effort we put into them, God loves them more. The heavenly Father loves them immeasurably more than you or I could. Therefore do not beat your chest and cry out angerly to God, asking Him why He isn’t fixing the problem. Jesus cares more about that individual than you ever will. Do you really think He wants them to live an unfulfilling life, full of pain? Nope.
Truth is harsh sometimes, and this is one of those statements that is hard to swallow. You Cannot help people who do not want to be helped. Ah! People have free will and no amount of compassion will manipulate someone into being different. Even God, yes, the Creator of the human heart and mind will not manipulate people into changing. Why? Because if change isn’t the individual’s choice, then it won’t last.
“When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, “Come, make us gods” Exodus 32:1
The story of the Israelites coming out of Egypt is the perfect example God uses in the Bible to illustrate the human condition. The descendants of Abraham were set free, yet they chose not to embrace freedom as their identity. What a sad rejection of God’s love. He lead them out of Egypt but they still acted like they were enslaved. Hundreds of thousands of slaves were liberated. Not only did they see miracles that lead to their freedom, but even when they left the borders of Egypt, God continued to set them up for success.
The Israelites were slaves in Egypt for 400 years. I imagined none of them that were set free knew what it meant to be free. They didn’t know how to respond to a loving God. When Moses was gone for several weeks, they freaked out and decided to do what the Egyptians did, worship idols. A cow was formed from their gold, and they bowed down to it, thanking the cow for giving them freedom.
When uncertainty came, they reverted to what they knew in their previous situation. Addicts or people who live in perpetual sin do the same. They go back to what brings them comfort. I am not excusing the people of Israel, nor the ones that claim to be Christians but live in sin. What I know is that when people take their focus off of Jesus, then they start living by the flesh. Being a Christian does not mean we get to live our “best life”, always satisfying the flesh. It does mean that we get to live free from sin’s chains and more importantly, we get to have a relationship with the Creator.
As someone who studied psychology in college, I can say one thing. The human mind is broken according to the flesh. It is no wonder the snake deceived Eve to eat from that forbidden tree. The Bible says that “their eyes were open” (Genesis 3:7). Let me tell you something. The human mind was open to a consciousness that deceives us more often than not. The brain is set up to fail you and I, unless we have a sober mind. Believe it or not, the brain and the mind are two different things. The brain is part of our fallen human state, but the mind can divide its attention between the spirit and the body. It is why the scriptures tell us to not conform to this world and renew our mind (Romans 12:2). Romans 8:6 says:
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the spirit is life and peace.”
So why do people keep going back to their darkness and chains? Because their human brain is convincing them they were happier when they had that sin in their life. Science explains this quite well if one is willing to study. Even the Israelites complained to Moses that their life was better in Egypt when they were tired of food that literally came down from Heaven, the food of angels. Why? Because their brain tricked them, and they gave into the lies it spun. Apparently having more food diversity with a side of beatings and free labor was better than being taken care of by the Living God. That makes ZERO sense, yet they believed what they were saying.
The devil is able to ensnare people further, when they listen to their flesh. That is how people, including Christians, can be controlled by demons. The devil works with our human nature, to entice and conquer us. We must rise above that. And simply having a pastor cast a devil out is not enough. Jesus says that if a demon leaves and then finds the house (our mind) clean but empty, that demon will bring several more of his friends that are even stronger (Matthew 12:45).
True and undeniable change, the kind that follows a person even in the places where no one is watching, can only happen through a relationship with Jesus. A relationship with someone means that you know them. How do we get to know the King? By reading and studying the Bible. I hear people say they have a relationship with God, yet they don’t read the Word. No, the Word of God is how we are able to have intimacy with Jesus. Prayer is mainly us talking to God, reading His Word is the way the Father speaks back with clarity. Yes, He sometimes gives us a thought or feeling as we pray, but Jesus always confirms through the Bible. So, if you want to hear God talk back to you about what you prayed, read the scriptures.
When we know Him, we find our true identity in Him. Then, change naturally follows. The most important thing is to listen and apply the words of God, and push aside anything that the brain contradicts. Holy Spirit will guide whoever reads the Bible and respects Him and treasures their relationship with God.
So, you want to know why change isn’t happening? It is because the individual continues to listen to the deceitful flesh, instead of listening to God.
